Relationships can be hard... really hard. There’s always a point where you realize how far you both have gotten, but how different things are compared to how they used to be. Feelings change sometimes, and things get in the way and it can get ugly. You just pass the point where it’s not all hugs and kisses and flowers and cute little presents all of the time. At some point, things get tough. You feel insecure and you’re not sure if everything is going to turn out how you always both talked about and how you always wished so badly that it would. You start to look back a lot and wonder what even changed. You ask yourself a million different questions to try to narrow it down, to get a clue or something--- but it happens so fast that you don’t even catch it. But if you have patience, if you really want it to work, and you look past the heavy, not so pretty stuff... if you work together and stay positive, things can work. And if it doesn’t.. well, at least you tried. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Some days are harder than others for me, and today was a really hard day. I have tried to act strong and put on a happy face for everyone around me, pretending I was better off this way. But deep down in my heart, I know things are not better this way. Deep down, I know this is not how I want things to be. I miss being crazy in love. I miss everything about my relationship, even the dumb fights.
I'm hoping that this is all one long and lonely nightmare and that I will soon wake up from it.
